


12th of February

by arkflikka



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Gen, Minor Character Death, Past Child Abuse, Probably missed a couple of tags, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-25
Updated: 2013-08-25
Packaged: 2017-12-24 15:27:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/941556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arkflikka/pseuds/arkflikka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The only reason why Niall hasn't killed himself yet is because he hasn't found the right way.<br/>He have wanted to die for the past 8 years. He misses his everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	12th of February

My name is Niall Horan. I am 19 years old. I am a part of the world’s most successful boy band. And I want to kill myself. The only reason why I haven’t offed myself yet is because I haven’t figured out how. I’ve wanted to kill myself since the 12th of February 2005, ever since the day when I lost my everything. The reason why I was now standing on the roof-top was my sister, my twin sister. Me and her had been inseparable from the moment we were born. That is until the 12th of February 2005 when I lost her. I hadn’t been the same since then. I have tried to commit suicide three times and failed. I tried to hang myself when I was 14. Maura found my half-conscious body hanging from the ceiling. She sent me to a therapist; I went twice, not uttering a single word. Next time I was 16, I slashed my wrists, lying on the cold tile floor in the bathroom, drifting in and out of consciousness. I still remember the sound of fists banging on wood when Greg was trying to get a response from me. That time I ended up in the hospital for a week, getting blood transfusions. They tried to get me to speak to someone, I refused. Soon after I had returned home I received the news I had waited for, but at the same time hated. My dad had died, not Bobby, my biological dad, Michael. Michael had been hit by a drunk driver. According to the doctors he had died on the impact. I would have wanted him to suffer, to die as painfully as possible. A week later I had received a bunch of letter. 

One of the letters was from Michael, apologizing for what he had done to me. I burnt that letter, after ripping it to small, small pieces. He had the guts to apologize after what he had done? After he had ruined our childhood. When we were 8 he killed our mother, just to spend the next four years abusing us both physically and mentally.   
When we were twelve he forced me to watch while he first raped her, her cries still ring in my ears in the silence of the night when I can’t fall asleep whatever I try with, and then killed her. She saved me. She yelled at me to get out, to get away from him or my fate would be the same as hers. I told her I didn’t want to live without her, and she told that she would also be with me. “Get away from him, Niall. I love you, always.” She said and I nodded and ran.

**

A particularly icy wind brought me out of the memories that I had let fill my brain. I was starting to feel the effect of the pills and briefly wondered if this would really be the end, the last minutes of my miserable life. The snow around my feet was stained crimson red.

I didn’t need to turn around to know he was there. I saw his shadow.

“Hi Liam.”

My voice sounded hoarse, as if I hadn’t used it for a very long period of time.

“What the hell are you doing?”

It may have been the first time I heard Liam curse and it hit me that I also wanted it to be the last time, I wanted to be gone.

“Making my dream come true.”

I whispered to the cold night, taking one step closer to the edge.


End file.
